There is nothing worse than resigning myself to the idea that I have become a Sunday painter.

While in art school it was easy to be an artist. I was surrounded by art students. Everyone was thinking about painting techniques and concepts. And I had competition to drive me. Once I had coffee with an established artist, and we discussed what it takes to make it in the art world. He said he made time to paint everyday while others didn’t. At the time, nothing seemed more simplistic. I thought I would continue painting, but that was before the reality of making a living in NY set in. Out of my peers, I may have been the first to surrender my ambitions as a painter. I sought a job painting murals, but was not hired. I looked for a teaching job, but only found openings in the Midwest. I wanted a job doing something artistic so I refashioned myself as a graphic designer. Years later, I wonder what role art has in my life. I stopped painting for a while because I wanted to focus on my job and family. Now that I’ve started painting again, I wonder why.